Thursday, March 25, 2010

"Departures"
or 
"Okuribito"
Directed by Yojiro Takita






I had NO idea what a "nakanshi" was when I rented this...hoping to expand my horizons. It seems a little odd expanding would mean renting a movie about death, but hey stranger things could happen, there could actually be a show of a bunch of hoochies trying to seduce one machismo 'roid monster, but how could tv get that low?

A long time ago,  I was a massage therapist, MUCH of time I was treated with respect but there was a couple of times where I received a raised eyebrow, the suspicions obvious. What to me was evident such as my lack of fingernails, muscular forearms, sweat popping from my brow and man hands weren't so obvious to others. I'll give you a clue, so you'll know if the massage therapist shows up with long fingernails and dainty pretty hands....they aren't! The real masseuse work creates strength and also man hands. Anyways where was I? 

Here in the USA, we generally entrust our loved ones (preferably dead, usually) to a Funeral home, where the preparations for burial or cremation are performed. (Unless your a dead president, dead pope, dead pop star...your beloved fans will be carting your dead butt ALL OVER God's green earth for about a month, much to the chagrin of others who have just sat in a traffic jam as the aforementioned corpse is transported through the 'hood). Apparently in Japan, the deceased are prepared for their journey by a NAKANSHI. When I watched the opening scene, the somberness, the draping of the sheets, the soft and practiced hand over the body reminded me of performing massage....and then it all goes wonky.  This movie shifts from sweet, sad, hilarious, happiness to satisfaction easily. Keep your eyes peeled for the octopus in the beginning of the movie, and you'll get the misery of our hero Daigo. 

There isn't any gore, no cussing, even in the subtitles, there isn't any nudity, except for one small part but it is only of the wife's tiny tummy. There isn't people professing such deep love that they cannot live without the other, no ridiculous turn of the century romantic notions that we hope our girls never imitate. I know the subject matter doesn't seem like there would be any room for kindness & sweetness but it truly was a entertaining and a sweet movie. 

It won best foreign film at the 2009 Academy Awards, but honestly it could've went up against Hollywood and beat them just by substance alone. 

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

things that make you go hmmm

I'm wondering if it's ever socially acceptable to take "Beano" openly at a social gathering.
Anyone?

Monday, March 15, 2010

My day and "Jackass"


"Jackass" & me 


After my day today (I'll blog about it after a couple of days, but right now I'm just not feeling the humor in it), I sunk onto the sofa and hoped for something mind numbing to watch. Of course my husband had on something completely inappropriate to my needs. Yes you guessed it.... "Jackass". I normally abhor MTV, and I'm probably still going to abhor it after tonight. 

If you don't know what Jackass is, then I suggest you google it. Proceed at your own risk because it will annoy, and make your sides hurt from laughing at the same time. But I think my husband and I just discovered a new way to double our fun....we rewinded it on the DVR.  There's just nothing that quite hits the funny bone like watching a man in a tiger thong go wakeboarding, mind you he's never done it before, and he doesn't want to let go. So the tiger thong man is having a power douche all over the tiny man made lake. AND then we rewinded it. Needless to say we feel a tad better and all I can say is "THANK YOU JACKASS".

......here endeth the lesson.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


DST and me!

Well it's happened again...I feel like someone has punched me in the eyes, my head is light, I feel as if I had a drunken evening but no stories to go with it, my time has disappeared ,and here I sit in daylight savings time. A part of the cruel joke that happens once a year. 

Before you start with the happy tune of  "I love it because it's light so much later, and I have an extra hour of sunlight to get more done....blah blah blah." Yes I'm happy that your happy, but we didn't gain anytime, we have the same 24 hours in a day. The only difference now is that, I have to explain to the monkeys jumping on the bed that it is indeed time to go to bed, YES the sun is out, and then I have to wake the comatose monkey's up, when it's dark. It makes no sense! Dark = sleep - light = wake.


DST creates two things for me, more noise and more work. Why one Earth would you want to get anything MORE done during the day? I personally do enough I don't need anymore time to do it, I just need sleep, peace, quiet, and a good excuse not to do something. DST destroys the truth in saying "well I can't go look for your lost Pokemon Lo...it's dark outside. Or darling daughter I cannot craft a carriage for you because the sun has gone down." Now I have to come up with something else.

Once a year I'm just made to do more 'splaining to the little people, and each year they get smarter and I have to use the "oh you were so little when I explained this to you, that it's a law now that you have to sleep when the suns out. Yes if you don't I will go to jail and who would make your breakfast for you? You don't want Mommy to get holed up in the pokey do you?". I can hear the helicopters moms complaining about my methods but honestly they aren't going to go to college sobbing "BUT  I have to be in bed by 8:00 or Mom will have to go to prison!", they'll figure it out eventually. Why can't we just leave our clocks alone? If you want daylight savings FINE then LEAVE IT. And as far as the EAST  coast and those that get dark at 3:00 pm well...you do it and leave me alone.

On top of all this the Santa Ana's are blowing, which if your not from SOCAL I'll explain that they are evil winds from the devil that suck energy from me. Maybe all those that love the extra hour to do "things" could come rake up the leaves that end up on my porch?




Sunday, March 7, 2010

DVD alert "I've Loved You So Long"


"I've Loved You So Long"
Directed by Phillipe Claudel


So I couldn't wait to watch my adult movie...."I've loved you so long" starring Kristen Scott Thomas and Elsa Zylberstein. I watched it via streaming download from netflix on my little netbook in My ROOM. I tried to stop but I couldn't, and my face is showing the results of going to bed at 2:00 am.

First let me say what a huge fan I am of Kristin Scott Thomas, ever since I saw her in "The English Patient" she was so convincing that Anthony Minghella had stopped shooting because Hollywood wanted Demi Moore to replace her as Kathryn, and he very effectively put his foot down to keep her in the role...so there Hollywood boneheads!(Honestly Demi Moore...how could she run in the sand with her silicone bouncing to and fro?!).

I will NOT ruin this movie but what I can tell you if you don't cheat you will do the ugly cry at the end when you finally find out "why". At first you do not really like Juliette, she is painfully reserved, and a little creepy. But then she begins to appear...then the movie will have you hook, line, and sinker.

The casting was amazing! I wonder if the sisters are really sisters, it does help add to the suspension of disbelief. Fyi there is alot of smoking in this film, me being the agro nutcase kept wondering how bad they smelled but did try to overlook it and just read my subtitles.

One thing Mommies-unless your kids speak French or read english really fast, you won't have to pause/turn off/scream and yell for privacy with this one. 




Friday, March 5, 2010

Growing old with Grace...



Growing old gracefully

(or saying no to creep factor increases)

So I'm at the gym, TRYING to mind my own business, I say trying because it really isn't fair to say I can't concentrate. Here in our little town I am continually bombarded by people that haven't LOOKED at themselves in a long time. You know them, you've seen them, and you've thought the same things, difference is...I will take a hit for the home team as a insensitive witch, because I can't keep it to myself any longer.

Before I begin let me say this...I'm aging too. "Things" aren't where they used to be nor are they the size they used to be, I make noises when I have to bend over, think twice about picking things up, and  I do sometimes refer to how things used to be, mainly customer service issues, ...it really is quite sad, and pretty funny to age. Let's face it, it's either laugh or cry, and I'm going to laugh until I cry. 

So let me begin... I'm at the gym trying to read when out of the corner of my eye I see HIM. He's wearing a headband (bad), and knee socks (bad unless your in the barrio), a t-shirt that really should have been relegated to the cleaning rag bin a long time ago (bad) because it's see through, he's wearing gym shorts that reveal too much (really bad). ***   Let me add this now so hopefully I can stop the damage to another poor souls eyes...if you are over 30, do not EVER think you can wear a speedo, aka weanie bikini, it's very disturbing -to say that this is a fashion faux pas is a understatement, in fact,  I searched for days for the fork to remove my eyes but it was etched in my brain-the damage was done and I have not been the same since***.  Now all of that will usually get me covering my face with my gym towel, or book, but what really just makes me shiver is when you see the gray hair coming out of the ears or at the nape of the neck and THEN you see a RED head of hair on a  man of about 75!  This has to stop, just like those leisure suits with the full length zipper! 

Look it's just so not helping you look younger at all, in fact quite the opposite, you look like a creepy old man! What on Earth would possess someone to think that this will make them look more attractive?(Oh and if you have a pony tail or toupee, your over 25 and not Native American.... you should just find an iceberg because there's no help for  you).  It screams of a man that buys a wife from an Eastern block or developing country,(this is bad), it whispers creepy man at the library that looks TOO long at the little kids,....do you get me? It's not a positive thing at all. 

I've always admired and been a little annoyed that men can usually deal with aging much better than women-the whole plastic surgery thing and injections, is pretty nauseating. I like it when men with thinning hair say "hell I mine as well shave it off, but my look at the hair on my face!" and grow a nicely groomed goatee (not too long, that's gross and too much like a goat- zztop guys are icky), and not do the comb over, we all know they aren't fooling anyone. I admire that men can go grey and still be very attractive (now I've seen many women who could pull off going grey, a few with the right hair and style do it well) Here is the positive and the problem, because men obviously think they are hot, and hair color can only make them hotter. This is when you need to see my startled and deploring look at the aforementioned man, in fact you need to be slapped, hard. 

So men when you're at the drug store walking by the hair colors, keep walking, don't be the old guy with the high ick factor. When you see a photo of George Clooney or Sean Connery...remember this...You are so not them and cannot be them. And please don't be the token old man at the bar where young people go, it doesn't make you hip, just have some dignity.  Most of all Men.... Be happy that we women have such low expectations in the appearance of you.

Here endeth the lesson....